My Little Girl
by SueB3
Summary: Something is bothering his Pumpkin. Frank Plum decides to find out what it is. Can he help?
1. Chapter 1

Not my characters, (except for one in this story that I made up, you'll know which one he is) they belong to Janet Evanovich, but as long as Ranger can come out and play I can live with that.

This story started out as a one-shot challenge response on PerfectlyPlum, but with the encouragement (read nagging) of several it became more.

**My Little Girl**

I sent both men the same message.

**Please meet with me at Cookie's Diner - 1:30 p.m. next Thursday. There is a private matter I would like to discuss. **

**You can let me know if you will be there by calling me at the following number. **

I gave them the number for my cell phone and purposely didn't answer their calls just in case I wanted to hear their responses more than once.

Joe called first. It must have been the same day he got the note in the mail. "Frank?" he said sounding anxious, "Joe Morelli. Is this about Cupca----, uh, Stephanie? Hope everything's okay? Glad to meet with you next Thursday. Anything I can do for you in the meantime? Old parking tickets?" _Awkward laugh. Pause. Cough. _"Well, uh, see you then." _Silence. _"Bye."

Parking tickets? Nice try. No cigar.

It was several days before I heard from Ranger. "It's Manoso. I'll be there." _Disconnect. _

Just like that. No questions asked.

There were reasons why I'd chosen Cookie's for this little get-together. It was close to the cab station. I went there every day. I wasn't much for bars and a man has to have a refuge, especially if you live in my household. In particular, it wasn't Shorty's; it wasn't Pino's. My meeting. My turf. Extra bonus -- Cookie had the best pie in town.

I let them arrive before me. I could see the diner's door from the front window of the station. They got there at the same time. Joe looked a little surprised. Ranger looked like nothing ever surprised him. Neither man offered his hand to the other. That was fine. I wasn't looking for camaraderie. Once inside Cookie would wave them to the table he and I had chosen.

Cookie was my friend. A retired marine, he'd gone a little soft in the middle from eating his own food, but he was still imposing enough that there was never any foolishness in his diner.

I gave them five minutes to stew before I went in. Even after I went inside I delayed a little, stopping to talk to Chuck and Ernie, regulars who were warming their usual spots in the first booth. We rehashed the previous night's hockey game before I moved on.

Why was I doing this? Was I crazy? I didn't think so. Stephanie was a grown woman, making her own way and I didn't like to interfere, but she was still my little girl. Lately, I could tell there was something bothering her and unless I missed my guess it had to do with one of these two men. Maybe both. If -- when she came to me for advice, I wanted to be prepared. I needed to form my own opinions. This was just a little research.

Joe and Ranger both stood as I approached the table. Joe was all smiles and friendly. "Frank, good to see you," he said sticking out his hand and clapping me on the arm like we were old buddies.

Ranger had taken the chair that would allow him to sit with his back to the wall, as I had known he would. He shook my hand with a firm grasp and nodded, his expression reserved. "Mr. Plum," he said by way of greeting.

"Please," I returned, "call me Frank."

"Frank," he replied nodding again.

Cookie had followed me to the table. I turned to him before I sat down and said, "Cookie, what's the pie today?"

"Got your favorite," the big man answered, "coconut custard."

"Umm, ummm. I'll have that. Gentlemen," I said looking at my guests, "I'm buying. Best pie in Trenton."

"Uh, sure," Joe said.

"No thanks," Ranger said, "I'll take coffee though, black." He caught my eye. I had known he wouldn't touch the pastry. He knew I knew.

"Coffee all around?" I asked glancing at Joe. He nodded.

By the time we had arranged our chairs and sat down, Cookie was back with the pie and the coffee pot. I lined up my plate with the wedge pointing directly at me and savored a couple of bites before I said anything. Joe fidgeted and looked like he had forgotten how to use a fork. His pie sat untouched. Ranger took a sip of coffee and sat back, waiting.

I took one more bite before I said, "Guess you probably figure I asked you here to talk about Stephanie." Joe shook his head yes, Ranger still waited. "That would be correct. And, no, she doesn't have any idea that I've invited you. I expect she'd be pissed as a cat in bath water if she knew." That got a smile from Ranger.

Joe's mood changed. He stopped fidgeting. "What's so fucking funny, Manoso? Frank, what's going on here? Is Stephanie all right? Did this thug get her in over her head again?"

I watched Ranger's reaction. His mouth tightened, but he didn't lose his temper.

I tried to cool things off. "No, no. Not at all. It's just that she's seemed preoccupied lately like something's on her mind. Something serious. You two spend a lot of time with her. I thought one of you might be able to shed some light." I looked from one to the other. Ranger took the lead.

"I understand what you mean," he said. "Last couple of months, Stephanie has done some great work for me -- for RangeMan. Her research skills are superb, her instincts are always right on and her work in the field is usually flawless but, the last couple of weeks something's been wrong. I noticed it and so did the other men who were working with her."

"Field work," Joe sneered. "That your fancy-ass term for a 'distraction,' Manoso. Where you dress her up like a French whore so some criminal can drool all over her. I think you do it as an excuse to put your hands on her and ogle."

Ranger went completely still. It surprised me that Joe didn't recognize the danger.

Pointedly ignoring Morelli, Ranger explained to me, "Getting a skip away from the crowd and into a less populated space makes the takedown easier and safer for all concerned. Stephanie is very good at it. She's professional and a valued member of our team."

"Well, let me tell you," Joe interrupted, "once we're married she won't be doing any more 'distractions' or anything else for you or RangeMan. She's going to settle down and live a normal life. And, believe me, she won't be seeing you."

"Married?" I was stunned. But now maybe we were getting somewhere. I looked at Ranger and saw for the first time what Stephanie called his blank face. He revealed nothing. That in itself told me something. "Joe," I said, "I didn't realize. You've asked her and she's accepted?"

"Not yet," he admitted, "but she's about to. In fact, until he showed up," Joe inclined his head toward Ranger, "I thought that might be what this little meeting was about."

Ranger looked at his watch. "Mr. Plum?" I raised my eyebrow. "Frank," he corrected looking me straight in the eye. "I have another appointment. I have to go."

"That's all right," I said, "Thank you for coming."

He was gone without another word. Joe lingered until he realized I wasn't inclined to discuss any impending nuptials.

Cookie was at the table before Joe got out the door. "He don't like my pie," he stated looking down at the uneaten wedge.

"He wants to marry my daughter," I volunteered as if that explained the orphaned coconut custard.

"That one?" he asked pointing with his spatula in the direction Joe had gone.

"Yeah, that one."

"Huh. Wouldn't be my choice."

"Not sure he's mine either," I replied. "But, don't worry about the pie," I pulled the plate in front of me, "it won't go to waste."

Cookie cleared the rest of the table and filled my coffee cup. I ate slowly thinking about what I had found out. No wonder Steph hadn't been herself. Sounded to me like if she married Joe, she'd never be herself again. That would be a damn shame, although her mother might not mind. Surely she wasn't seriously considering it.

I was about half finished eating when I heard the diner door. Cookie had a bell on it. It always drove me crazy when the place was busy. Today though, I didn't seem to mind it. I had a little smile on my face when I looked up. Ranger was standing at the table.

"Had a feeling you might be back," I said. "Sit."

"She can't marry the cop," he stated without preliminaries.

"Why not?" I asked -- as if I didn't already know.

"Because I don't want to have to kill him."

He didn't sound like he was kidding. "No, that probably wouldn't be a good idea," I agreed. "Want to tell me about you and Steph?"

There was no blank face now. Everything I wanted to know was written right there.

He looked at me hard deciding what to tell me. Finally he said simply, "I love Stephanie more than life itself."

"I think you've already proven that, son," I said gently, "go on."

"My reasons are selfish," he confessed. **"I'm a better person when she is in my** **life. She makes me want to be a better person. I can't do it without her." **

"So what's stopping you?" I really didn't see the problem.

"My past, my work, my foreseeable future. They're all dark -- dangerous"

"And you think that matters to her? You've obviously observed what the idea of becoming a 'burg housewife is doing to her. I think she finds that prospect infinitely more terrifying than anything you have done or will do." He didn't know whether to believe me or not so I pressed him. "If you don't tell her how you feel how can she know there's another option."

He looked down at the table, thinking. He spied my plate.

"Sir." He indicated the now half eaten piece of pie, "You know that stuff will kill you."

I laughed right out loud. The bad ass bounty hunter, the marauding mercenary, the black op assassin of third world dictators was concerned about my eating habits.

Fortunately, he saw the humor. We sat for a moment in companionable silence before my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and checked the ID. "I need to answer this," I told him.

He got up to leave. I think he knew it was Stephanie calling. "Thank you," he said.

I pushed the talk button. "Hey, Pumpkin."

"Hi, Daddy." _Silence. _

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Daddy, I need to talk to you."

"Any time, Sweetheart. What are you doing right now? Cookie has coconut custard. I'm buying."

"I'll be right over."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Cookie's was twenty minutes from everywhere in Trenton. Well, twenty minutes from everywhere that mattered to me. Steph got there in ten. I guess once she made up her mind to talk to me, she didn't waste any time.

I was nursing a cup of coffee having heeded Ranger's warning, at least for the moment, and turning down a third piece of pie.

Steph piled into the chair Ranger had recently vacated. She was dressed today for skip chasing -- jeans, T-shirt, hoodie, boots.

"Get your man?" I asked.

"Yep," she replied. "Piece of cake." She snapped her fingers giving me a self-satisfied smile.

It was good to see her confident.

Cookie appeared with pie and coffee. He set it all down in front of her along with a fresh pitcher of real cream and a sugar shaker.

"Cookie, you really know what a girl likes," she told him adding the sugar to her coffee and carefully pouring the cream so the dark liquid turned a perfect shade of mocha latte.

Her cheeks flushed and as I watched her it occurred to me that her coffee was now the exact color of Ranger's skin tone. She stared into her cup and then took a long slow sip.

Cookie refilled my cup, looked at Steph and said to me, "This the one that's gettin' married?"

Steph choked and spit coffee half way across the table, "What!" she gasped, "What did you say?" She looked at me, "He didn't really say what I thought he said, did he?"

"Ain't that what the young fella said?" Cookie looked to me for confirmation, but didn't wait for my response.

Steph's face reflected fury and panic in equal measures.

Cookie went on, "I told my wife, if I were you, I'd go for that other guy. Seems to me he's got it together better. Just my opinion understand." He stood waiting for Steph to reply.

"Wife?" she squeaked, "Other guy?" Now her face showed only panic. That was probably good for me. Once she realized this was my fault, the fury would be aimed in my direction -- rightly so.

I felt terrible. Steph and her mother were always talking about the 'burg rumor mill. I'd pretty much ignored the whole concept thinking it was women's business and none of mine. Looked though like Cookie was pretty much tuned in and my off-hand remark to him might just start the old wheels turning.

Steph had her head buried in her arms on the table when her cell phone rang. She let it go to voice mail.

Seconds later my phone rang too. I looked at the ID. Nothing but trouble. "Steph........uh, Pumpkin? It's your mother."

She kept her head down. The phone stopped ringing. There was an ominous silence. The phone started ringing again. That was worse. A low moan escaped from under the mop of curls in front of me. The phone kept ringing.

"We don't answer, she's going to call 911," I said. "You know that. Joe will be back to see if the pie is poisoned."

Head still down, Steph raised her hand waving it like a flag of surrender. I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"No, Ellen, I'm fine. Just didn't get the phone out of my pocket in time." So I fibbed.

"What's that?"

"You say Stephanie's not answering her phone."

"No, I don't think she's dead." Steph looked up, rolled her eyes. Banged her forehead on the table.

"How can I be sure?"

"Because I talked to her just a few minutes ago." Steph sat up frantically shaking her head. I signaled that I could handle her mother.

"No, she called me."

"Why would she be avoiding you?"

"Who told you she was getting married?" Steph's eyes went big as saucers.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't believe everything you hear."

"Now I'm sure if she was really getting married she would tell you."

Steph trained her gaze on me.

"Yes, I'm sure she knows how hard it is to get a hall for the reception. Goodness knows you've told her enough times."

"Good idea, you go back to ironing. I'll be home soon and I'll tell Steph to call you if I hear from her again."

End call.

"That went okay, don't you think?"

I realized that Steph was suddenly looking at me through narrowed eyes. I might have some explaining to do.

"Why did you say Joe would be back? And what did Cookie mean by the 'other guy'?"

A hard look to go with the hard questions. Maybe I had screwed up.

"Sweetheart. Pumpkin."

"Daddy....!" Just a little tone of warning.

I caved. "All right. I've been worried. Seemed like something was bothering you. I thought maybe Joe and Ranger....

"Ranger!" she broke in.

"...maybe Joe and Ranger had an idea what it was."

"And did they?" she asked, if possible, her eyes narrowing even further.

"Ranger said he and the guys had noticed a slight lack of focus recently and Joe mentioned that he'd asked you to marry him."

"Joe mentioned that, did he?"

"Yes, he did," I acknowledged.

"Joe mention anything else?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"You mean like the fact that you would quit bounty hunting, leave RangeMan and never see Ranger again?" I added.

"Yeah, like that."

"He might have said something about that."

"In front of Ranger?"

My look said it all.

"Terrific," she said. "Daddy, how could you?"

"Tell me something," I replied. It was my turn to ask some hard questions. When exactly did Joe pop the question?"

Her eyes began to wander looking everywhere but at me.

"Steph?"

"Oh, I don't know. Three weeks? Give or take."

"Man asks you to marry him and you can't remember when it happened?

"Uhhhh." Eyes still wandering. "It was maybe right before I moved out of his house and back to my place."

I was beginning to get the picture. "So let me see if I can put this together. Joe asks you to marry him, but has some conditions. You're not crazy about his ultimatums, but instead of telling him no you move out and pretend the proposal never happened. Do I have it right so far?"

"Well. Uhh. Yeah, I guess," she replied in a very small voice.

That's my girl -- denial, denial, denial.

"Don't suppose it occurred to you that Joe might interpret your silence to mean you were actually considering accepting?"

"Guess not."

"Pumpkin...." I waited for her to look at me. "You need to talk to Joe."

"Yeah, I know."

"Understand, I'm not telling you to marry him. I am not your mother. But, you need to let Joe know your answer before this whole thing gets out of hand."

She was suspicious again. "What do you mean gets out of hand?"

"In addition to your mother renting a hall, Ranger might want to kill him."

"What!!!"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Maybe that didn't come out right."

"Do ya think?" Steph's voice went up an octave and got louder. Definitely a little agitated. "Why would Ranger want to kill Joe?" she demanded.

How to answer that one. Did she have no idea how Ranger felt about her -- let alone the depth of his feelings? Still, it wasn't my place to tell her. While I was trying to decide how to respond, Steph kept on talking -- mostly to herself. She was in her own little world.

"I mean Joe and Ranger don't agree on most things. Okay, they don't agree on anything. Joe thinks Ranger is a thug because, maybe now and then, he operates outside the law. But Ranger has a strict moral code, even if it is his own, and I think he likes the fact that Joe calls him a thug so that can't be the reason.

"I know it makes Ranger mad when Joe tells me to quit my job because I'm no good at it, but he always lets me handle Joe. I can't see that as being high on a reason to kill list.

"Joe's asking me to marry him isn't anything new. He's talked about it for a long time. Ranger knows that and, besides, it was Ranger who told me to patch things up with Joe in the first place."

This was news to me. I saw Steph's eyebrows seriously knit at that thought. She went on muttering so softly that I could hardly hear her.

"It's not like Ranger has any plans to marry me. He's made that all too clear -- 'don't do relationships -- love you in my own way -- love doesn't come with a ring.' Yeah, yeah. I get it. Don't need to give me a program, no sir."

Wait a minute. This didn't jibe at all with what I'd heard from Ranger. So Steph didn't know how he felt. Not only that, he apparently had spent a considerable amount of effort convincing her otherwise. I was a decent judge of character. Today, Ranger'd looked me in the eye and been straight with me. This time he was afraid he really was going to lose her. Kids! What are you going to do? Steph kept on prattling.

"The only difference with Joe's proposal this time was his insistence that I quit working -- not only bond enforcement, but RangeMan too. That and..............and not see Ranger."

She stopped talking. I watched closely as she worked through what she had just said. One beat and she was talking again.

"Course there's plenty of people out there could do bond enforcement. I'm not all that good at it; just been lucky. Although, Ranger says I have good instincts. I do a great job with searches, and I do have 'burg connections, but so do lots of others. RangeMan could replace me in a day. I am awesome at distractions, if I do say so myself. Wonderful, I look good in slutty clothes and can lure a man out of heaven. What does **that **say about me? Again, Ranger wouldn't have any trouble replacing me. Girls would be falling all over themselves for a crack at that job if they could work with him. Maybe Joe's right."

Oh, no you don't, Pumpkin, I silently urged her. Keep on going. You haven't gotten to the most important part. Like she'd heard me, she stopped talking again. This time she looked at me when she started.

"So the only reason I can come up with for Ranger wanting to kill Joe is that I wouldn't see him anymore."

She wanted confirmation. I kept quiet.

"But that would mean..........."

Still not a word from me.

"That would mean............"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Don't do that! Ranger does that!"

I waited. Her eyes filled with tears. Trying hard to blink them away, she said, "that would mean that Ranger cares."

'Cares' didn't quite cover it, but it was a start. All I did was smile and say, "So what are you going to do about it?"

She started making plans.

"First, I have to talk to Joe. I can't marry Joe, Daddy, no matter how happy it would make Mom. Joe holds me down; Ranger helps me fly!"

I couldn't agree more. I nodded.

"I love Ranger, Daddy," she said.

"I know, Pumpkin."

"I don't know what to do about it," she admitted.

"You could try talking to him."

"You ever try talking to Ranger?"

I couldn't very well answer that one. I took another tack. "You remember that song you kept singing the Christmas you were four?"

"Sure," she laughed, "it was my favorite."

She started singing in her adult voice, but all I could hear was the four year old singing over and over and over again, '**I want a hippopotamus for Christmas; Only a hippopotamus will do**.'

"Problem was," she said, "I only knew those two lines."

"Tell me about it. Did you really think you were going to get a hippopotamus that year?"

"Wasn't sure, but I figured it didn't hurt to...............," she stopped, getting my meaning, "try."

"Exactly."

"Oh, Daddy," she said jumping up and coming around the table to give me a hug, "I'm so glad we had this little talk."

My pleasure, I thought, my pleasure.

I watched with a smile on my face as Steph sat back down and started making phone calls. Her mother was first.

"Hey, Mom." She stifled a giggle. "Just wanted to let you know I'm not dead."

"Daddy called me. Said you were worried."

"You've been getting phone calls?" She rolled her eyes.

"Well, don't believe everything you hear."

"It's kind of complicated. I'd rather not go into it over the phone. Okay if I come for dinner?"

She knew it would be.

"Pineapple upside down cake? You know I'm there. See you later. Bye."

Morelli was next. She got his voice mail.

"Joe, it's Stephanie. I know I've left you hanging and I'm really sorry. You kind of took me by surprise and I had to do a lot of thinking. I'm ready to talk now. We really need to talk. I'm going to my folks' for dinner, but maybe we can get together after that. Give me a call. Bye."

She closed her phone, sat back and took a deep breath.

"Calling Ranger?" I asked.

"Not yet, Daddy," she answered. "I have to clear things up with Joe first."

"That makes sense, just be sure to call him. Okay?"

"I will," she said looking away.

"You're not backing down? You'll talk to him?" I couldn't appear too eager.

"I will. I promise."

"All right then. You going home before dinner?"

"Yeah," she said. "I need to shower and change."

"See you later."

She got up, gave me a quick kiss and was gone.

I was feeling good about my afternoon. I checked my watch and had just decided there was time enough for one more cup of coffee when my phone rang. I recognized the number.

"Yo," I answered. Yes, I was feeling pretty jaunty.

"Sir?"

"Hello, Ranger. It's Frank, remember?"

"Yes, sir. I've been thinking about our conversation. And you're right. There's no way Stephanie could know how I feel. I've done nothing but push her away for as long as I can remember. That was wrong and I need to make it right as soon as I can. I don't want her to make a decision, without knowing everything."

He stopped. I heard him take a deep breath. It seemed to catch in his throat.

He began again very softly. "She might still come to the same decision, I don't know, but I can't live with the regret I'll have if I don't tell her. She's not answering her phone."

He sounded desperate. Given what Steph had said about talking to Morelli first, there was a chance she had deliberately not taken Ranger's call. On the other hand, she could be in the shower. I went with possibility number two.

"Son, Steph's coming to our place for dinner tonight. She's probably getting dressed. Why don't you join us. After we eat you two can disappear and talk things out."

"Really? Thank you." He paused, "It's funny, I've waited so long to tell her how I feel and all of a sudden, I can't talk to her soon enough."

"Word to the wise?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'd wait until after dessert."

"Good point."

He disconnected.

I chuckled to myself, maybe _The Trentonian _had an opening for an advice columnist. After today I should apply.

"Hey, Cookie, how about a refill?" I called out.

"You want pie with that," he yelled back.

"You got any carrot cake?"

"Carrot cake? What the fuck?"

"Yeah, carrot cake, that's healthy, right?" Ranger would be proud.

*******

She stood for a moment with her hand hovering over the telephone. I have this on good authority from at least four people she thought to herself as she snatched up the receiver. I've been taking calls all afternoon. She pulled a scrap of paper from her apron pocket. She'd spent ten minutes looking for it in her kitchen junk drawer.

Carefully she punched in the numbers and then waited. He answered on the fourth ring.

"Morelli here."

"Joseph, it's Ellen Plum. I know you are probably surprised to hear from me, but I understand that you and Stephanie may have some news for us. Why don't you come for dinner tonight so we can discuss things."

Yeah he was surprised, but things were looking up. "I'd be honored Mrs Plum. Dinner's always at six, right?"

"That's right, dear. We'll see you then. Goodbye."

The smile on her face faded a little when she saw her mother standing the kitchen doorway.

"Think that was a good idea?" Grandma Mazur asked.

"There's more than one way to start the ball rolling," she replied.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I hit the house at five thirty. Steph had already arrived. Her car was on the street. I hoped she hadn't been here long because her mother would be grilling her like a burger.

Before I got my hand on the knob, Steph yanked the front door open. The escaping air crackled with electricity. Now what? "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Mom invited Joe to dinner!" Steph yelled, "That's what's wrong!" She stomped off toward the kitchen.

"Well, this could be interesting," I said to myself.

"What could be interesting?" she cried out spinning around, "What?"

Guess I hadn't said that to myself. No sense putting this off. Both men would be here in short order.

I confessed apologetically. "I invited Ranger."

"Oh God!"

The expression on her face was pure terror followed by outrage. Her prediction was immediate and dire. "Someone's going to die."

I didn't know for sure who she meant. Could be Joe, Ranger, her mother or..............me.

"Now I'm sure we can have a simple dinner without bloodshed," I assured her. I hoped so anyway_. _

Abruptly, she announced, "I'm going home,"

"No," I insisted snagging her arm, "you're not." I called into the living room, "Edna!"

Grandma Mazur popped her head into the hall. "Frank?"

Ordinarily I avoid Ellen's crazy mother at all costs, but if anyone could make Steph stay put Grandma Mazur could.

"Edna, Steph needs someone to keep her company until dinner. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"Sure, Frank, we keep company all the time."

Steph fumed. I still held her arm. "I know, Edna, but I need you to make sure she doesn't leave. Okay?"

Edna didn't seem to notice that Steph was giving her the glare that meant she was being added to the 'people who might die' list.

"Should I get my gun?"

"NO!" Steph and I shouted at the same time.

The glare didn't go away, but the thought of being held at gunpoint by Grandma Mazur was apparently more frightening than the prospect of dinner with Joe and Ranger. Steph allowed the old woman to lead her into the living room. I headed for the kitchen. My lovely bride was cooking up a storm with her usual efficiency.

"Ellen." I was determined to take a page from Ranger's book, keep my temper in check.

"Oh, hello, Frank. I thought you should be home soon. We're having company for dinner. Did Stephanie tell you?"

"She told me, Ellen." I felt my ears burning. This temper thing was harder than I thought.

"I don't understand but she seemed a little upset when I told her I'd invited Joseph."

No kidding. Was smoke coming out of my ears now? I might have to put the hold the temper thing off for another day.

"Ellen," I shouted. "Why on God's good earth would you invite Morelli for dinner tonight?"

She looked surprised. "Because, Frank, since Stephanie and Joseph are getting married we need to get started on the arrangements. It's never too soon. And, frankly," she confided, "I'd like to get this going quickly before Stephanie tries to change her mind. She's not getting any younger you know and she tends to be extremely wishy-washy."

"Ellen." I tried hard not to lose it. I didn't want to strangle my wife with her own

apron strings if I could help it. "Why do you think Joe and Steph are getting married?"

"Now, Frank," she replied. "I know you told me not to believe everything I hear, but today I had calls from Louise Seltzman, Marge Dembrowski, Elaine Minardi, Edna Gluck, Julia Kruselli, Evelyn Nagy - her daughter works at the personal products plant you know maybe she could get Steph a job there - and Thelma Klapp. They all told me Joe popped the question and Steph said yes. We are talking about the best authority here, Frank."

"And where did they get their information?"

"That's just it, every one of them told me they had heard from Cookie's wife, who heard from Cookie, who," she looked at me knowingly, "if I am not mistaken, got the information from you."

She beamed, her ace trumping my king. Steph was never going to forgive me.

"Why would you believe Cookie's wife?" I growled. "She thinks there are Hessians left over from the Battle of Trenton hiding in her attic. Besides, Cookie got it wrong, Steph is not going to marry Morelli, he just doesn't know it yet."

Ellen was not to be deterred. "Then I have time to make her see things differently."

My wife's misguided efforts to arrange our daughter's future were interrupted by a manic voice.

"WooHoo! Would you look at that! Two of the finest packages in Trenton coming to our door! Now why would a girl want to walk out on dinner with scenery like that?"

"What's going on," Ellen inquired wiping her hands and going out to find her mother; I was close behind.

Grandma Mazur had her nose pressed to the window. Ellen gasped when she saw. Ranger and Joe were jockeying for position at the far end of the walk neither willing for the other to go first. They ended up side by side shoulders bumping. World War III on legs.

"Frank," Ellen voice quivered just a bit, "that hoodlum is coming up the walk with Joseph. What's he doing here? Call the police!"

I heard Steph heave a huge sigh. "Mom," she said, "Ranger's not a hoodlum and Joe **is** the police. I told you on the phone that this was complicated."

Yeah, I thought, the complication is headed straight for us and undoubtedly armed to the teeth.

"No police, Ellen," I commanded. "Just set another place at the table. Ranger's here for dinner."

"Frank, is it a good idea for him to be here while we are making wedding plans?"

"**I am not getting married!!"**

"I think I should get my gun."

"NO!" Ellen, Steph and I shouted at the same time.

Briefly, I did entertain the idea of letting Edna open the door. One look at the demonic gleam of lust in her eyes and it was likely both men would bolt -- solving our problem at least temporarily. Probably a coward's way out. Ranger wouldn't be proud. I opened the door. "Gentlemen."

My salutation was less a greeting and more a request for good behavior. Morelli didn't get it.

"Frank, Ellen invited me for dinner. I don't know why this hood showed up but, if you want, I can arrest him, call a squad car and have his ass in jail in fifteen minutes."

Ranger didn't say a word but his look told me that in the same amount of time he could make Morelli disappear and no one would ever find the body. With the look that I returned I tried to say, 'Not now, maybe later.'

"Ranger is my guest, Joe. A squad car won't be necessary." I hope. "Please, Gentlemen," I repeated. "Come in. Dinner's on the table."

I looked pointedly at Ellen. She backed away from Ranger and fled to the kitchen. Steph was no where in sight. I prayed she was setting the extra place and not escaping out the back door. Edna grabbed Morelli's ass. Too bad. He jumped.

Steph was standing to the right of my chair as we entered the dining room. Thank goodness. Ellen was still in the kitchen so I usurped the hostess duties and motioned for Ranger to take the chair beside Steph. That left Grandma Mazur to my left with Morelli between her and Ellen. That ought to keep him busy.

Steph's knuckles were white gripping the back of her chair. She trembled as Ranger moved close to her. He touched her arm and bent to whisper in her ear. "Babe," I heard him say. She didn't look at him, but I saw her relax. Morelli opened his mouth to protest, but was distracted by Grandma Mazur smacking his ass.

"Set yourself down, Sweetcakes. We're going to have us quite a time."

I covered my chuckle with a cough as Ellen appeared with bowls and platters.

For the next several minutes the conversation consisted of "this is delicious, please pass the potatoes" and "yes I'd love another helping of pot roast." Just another dinner party as civil as any in the 'burg except maybe for Grandma Mazur's wandering hands. Between fending off attacks Morelli tried to keep his eye on Ranger. Ranger only had eyes for Steph but Steph had developed a newfound fascination for her green beans.

In the lull before dessert while Steph and Ellen cleared the table, Morelli saw his opening.

"So tell me, Manoso, killed anybody lately? From what I hear your RangeMan takedowns have had more than their share of excessive force recently. That's the kind of thing that's going to get Steph hurt or killed, you know."

Ellen gasped. She had come back with the coffee pot. Steph was right behind her.

"That's only one reason she's never going to work for you again." Ellen was nodding her head up and down in agreement. Steph's jaw dropped.

Like he had this afternoon, Ranger's anger channeled into stillness. He didn't move a muscle. Could Morelli really be this stupid? Apparently so. He thought he was on a roll.

"Besides," he spit out, "the mother of my children will not associate with the likes of you. You and your mysterious missions. You know what all that black op stuff really boils down to don't you?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Murder, that's all it is. Murder, plain and simple."

I saw a twitch in Ranger's jaw. His face was blank, but his eyes would have told a smarter man that he was treading on thin ice. A smarter man, but not Morelli.

"And were does all that money come from, huh? The high tech building, the fancy cars. Maybe an investigation into your finances is in order. Yeah, I think that could be arranged. I'll have a little talk with the DA. Put you away where you belong, keep the public safe."

Ranger stood up so fast his chair tipped over behind him. Morelli started for his gun. Steph screamed, "Joe, stop!" But Ranger wasn't going for Morelli. He turned to Ellen.

"I think it's time for me to go," he said to her politely. "Thank you for dinner, Mrs. Plum," he nodded to me, "Frank. I'll see myself out." He righted his chair but before he left the room he looked straight at Morelli and said, "Another time, another place, we'll have this conversation again."

He left the room with Morelli yelling after him, "Are you threatening a police officer?"

"I knew I should have brought my gun."

"NO!" we all shouted at the same time.

We heard the front door close. Then Ellen said pleasantly, "Well, now that he is gone, we can have some dessert, and start planning that wedding."

"Ellen," I started, but Steph had found her voice.

"Mom, look at me." Ellen looked. "Read my lips," Steph continued, "there isn't going to be any wedding. Not now. Not ever."

"I think you should reconsider, you're not getting any younger you know."

"Ellen," I said, "shut up."

"Cupcake," Morelli whined.

"Joe," Steph said, "You insulted my best friend. I can't accept your conditions. And, I won't marry you. I'm going in the kitchen to eat pineapple upside down cake. There's a good chance I will eat the whole thing. I don't want to see you here when I'm done. In fact, I don't want to see you for a long long time - like forever."

"You go girl," Grandma Mazur cheered.

"He's going to get you killed, you know."

"Better all at once, than inch by inch," Steph declared.

That's my little girl.

*****

I waited for twenty minutes.

"He's gone." True to her word, Steph had eaten most of the cake. I scooped up a pile of gooey crumbs and licked them off my finger.

"Steph?"

She didn't want to cry, but her eyes were filled with tears.

"Steph, this is my fault. I'm sorry." Guess I wouldn't be applying for that advice columnist job after all. "I should have stayed out of it."

"It's not your fault, Daddy. If I had told Joe right off how I felt none of this would have happened. Now........now." The tears began to fall. "Ranger's going to hate me and there's no one to blame but myself."

Another voice chimed in. "Don't hate you. Proud of you, Babe."

Steph turned around. Ranger was standing in the kitchen doorway. I shrugged my shoulders. What could I say. "**He** came back."

I left them alone. Okay, I eavesdropped.

"Ranger, he said such terrible things."

"Shhh. Don't want to talk about him."

_Silence. More silence. Still silence. Moan. _Moan! What the hell is going on in there. I can't help it I'm her father!

"Ranger?" _Finally. _

"Yeah."

"Why did you come to dinner? What are you doing here?"

"Had to talk to you, Babe."

"You did?"

"Had to tell you that I love you."

"You do?"

There was a lot of silence after that. So much that I gave up and went to bed.

The End.


End file.
